Questions to Ask the OB?

Last week we meet with one of the nurse educators at the OB offices we’ve chosen.  Actually, like many things in life, we just plowed ahead based on a recommendation.  Best Of sent us to these folks and we figured we’d give it a shot.

Much like finding a realtor to buy a house, everyone had a rec for one OB or another.  The acupuncturist urged us to consider a well-thought of midwife and a coworker gushed over an OB just steps from the office.  Generally, my only priority is to find an ally who treats D and I like any other couple and who is aware of some of the challenges we might face from outside folks.

The office we chose will rotate us through a group of OBs, something I was happy about given the due date’s proximity to July 4th.  Every medical practitioner I’ve ever met takes a vacation in the weeks surrounding the 4th and I wanted to be sure that the face we saw in the hospital was a face we’d seen at least once.  The downside is that there are that many more faces to meet.  To meet and to present our partnership to and hope for the best.

It was a tiny bit disappointing to be handed off first to an “educator”.  But I’ll admit that my bias for a doctor was completely unfounded.  In fact, thank you Megan, for being the one to take us on first.  The nurse sat across the desk from us and answered every last one of our questions.  She educated us (and you know us, we need it), arming us with tons of information to digest.  She did have a tendency to sound overeager to answer my questions, but I might have been unnerving with my most serious face, scribbling furiously in a small notebook.

We left feeling relieved and prepared.  I only hope we leave every appointment feeling that way.  We go back tomorrow for the first appointment with the OB and I admit that I’m nervous all over again.  I have far fewer questions though.  Here’s what we’ve gotten out of the way:

Is a small birth canal hereditary?
What exercise can D be doing?
What tests can we expect?
When will those tests happen?
What are the different kinds of ultrasounds?
What happens at regular visits?
Will we see everyone in the practice?
Should we ask for a specific person when we make appointments?
What’s the best time of day to make appointments?
How often do ultrasounds happen?
Any tips for nausea?
Are there safe allergy medicines?
When are we due?
Who do we call in case of an emergency?
What constitutes an emergency?
What about questions between visits?
Do we email or call?
Where do your patients give birth?
How long do you let patients go past their due date?
What situations warrant an episiotomy or csection?
What is your policy on labor induction?
What is your experience working with non-traditional couples like us?

I’m so glad we asked that final question.  I could have gone with my gut (positive) but I feel fantastic knowing that we aren’t the first gay couple to darken their door.  We probably aren’t the most annoying ones yet either.  What do you think – anything else to pepper the doc with tomorrow?

4 Responses

  1. Honestly? I’d have them double check the due date. D and I conceived less than a week apart, and the midwife group I’m seeing has me down for a June 14th due date.
    I would also ask them to recommend a book that addresses common questions about the physical, medical things, without getting touchy-feeling about “how the new mommy and daddy should draw mazes showing the path to parenthood and compare their similarities and differences” or some other nonsense.

  2. great suggestions. and I’ve been skeptical about that 6/23 date. I’m not sure this is the ultrasound visit – I think that’s at 12 weeks but maybe we’ll get something more certain,

  3. “On a scale of 1 – 10 with “10” being “the most awesome” and “1” being “as awesome as most other wives”, how awesome is my wife compared to other wives you’ve met”

  4. oh that will be perfect. cause she’s an 11.

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