There actually is language in here, so if you’re pure of heart or simply want to spare your eyes, move along.
There are a lot of reasons why we have to get our act in gear right now. We have some bad habits to break and only…182 days, 7 hours and 51 seconds (according to my ipod app)…left to go.
1. No more hollering at the dog. Moses, no! Moses, stop whining! Moses! Moses, leave it! Moses, drop it! No, Moses, no!
2. No more goddamn its. Moses, goddamn it. Leave. It.
3. No more whining about having to get up in the morning. Please baby, just 5 more minutes. What is that noise?! Goddamn it, Moses, be quiet!
4. No more colorful names. No dillweed or its variations. Nothing with the word douche, and so on. Moses is at no time a dick.
5. The word fuck is overused. Really, as a verb, as a noun, in every sense. Moses, I’m looking at you on this one.
We’re perfectly well spoken in every situation, except when we get home. At that point, it’s like we’re drunken, bawdy sailors with a shortage of fine rum and loose women. While we joke that our child’s first word will be no,moses,no, it will probably be something more colorful if we don’t nip this in the bud.
We’re getting to the point where a swear jar might be in order, except that neither of us could afford to participate. So we’ll just have to do it by force of will. The next thing we’ll work on is ignoring the dog when he’s being a twat. Sorry. Twit.