Ready or Not

Between you and me, I’m not sure I’m ready for this.  No, not Vegas.  I’m always ready for Vegas.  I can’t wait for that little sucker to show up and show us his lung power.  I’m just not sure I’m ready for the celebrity of being a parent.

I’ve been spending my days mentally getting ready; decorating the nursery, planning for daycare, silently panicking about my lack of rights in this godforsaken state, and so on.  I’m focused, happy and intentional (well, and panicked).  I’m perfectly balanced.  But new plans, social plans, tip me off-center.

I love them, each one of them.  I love my wife’s band for making her laugh and for giving her the confidence and booming voice I can’t seem to rustle up.  I love her former coworkers for buzzing and bustling around her belly.  I love my sister’s husband for miraculously finding a job in another state, my state, in this dreadful economy and I love my sister to death for helping him drive out here to get settled (I love her to pieces.  She might not survive the trip).  I love planning family visits and trips to see friends I haven’t seen in a while.  I love having new friends that are pregnant and I love when our friends with babies visit.  I love being awash in parenting.

I love these things but they don’t show any sign of stopping.  Two years ago, we had exactly one person come to visit.  This year, we’ve reached seven in 30 days.  That doesn’t count the dinners and invitations to socialize.  Yes, we know how to say no.  But we adore having our chosen and extended families around us.  I’m just not sure I have the long-term coping skills.  Once there’s a baby, will it be worse or better?

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6 Responses

  1. Hey– speaking of visitors, would you guys be up for a visit Easter weekend?? We will be in your town that weekend and have hand-me-downs for you!

    • We’d love to see you all and the baby! We’re not sure if we’ll be here or in DC that weekend though – we’ll keep you posted!

  2. Worse. Says the not so social wife of a very antisocial person. I spend half my time feeling like I NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE and the other half of my time feeling completely and utterly drained from having to do so much visiting and socializing. And then I feel guilty for not having enough time or energy to visit with everybody.

  3. i don’t know if it is better or worse, but our friend circle really did change. and that is something we didn’t expect. a lot of our single friends didn’t or don’t expect us to go out – and if we are invited to go out, sometimes we can’t

    i sometimes wish we lived around more family so that i would feel comfortable leaving GP with them so that we can go out. but we have had a couple of sitter nightmares and i just don’t want to leave our kiddo home with anyone. so we don’t go out.

    while i don’t think things are better or worse, they are just different…

  4. It depends on how you define better and worse. New babies are exciting. Older babies and toddlers, not so much. They’re exciting to us parents, of course, but not to other people. We found that after Son was about 6 months old and starting to really be able to do things besides sit there, our childless friends didn’t really know how to deal with it and stopped inviting us over or accepting our invitations to visit. That was rough because we felt abandoned and alienated. We’ve built a new circle of friends who either have kids or love kids, but we and our friends are all highly intraverted so we still don’t see each other a whole lot.

  5. I’m glad you brought this up.I’m on a parents group board that doesn’t do anything except for the occasional playdate.The tunr out for the playdates is okay but because people are coming as far as Manhattan to the playdates there is no building of community in your hood so to speak.

    Then i hear moms expressing unhappiness about how blah their life has become.Even the fire in the relationship has gotten cold and veering toward breakup.

    Finding babysitters isn’t a problem,but price can be in this neighborhood.That aside what would moms like to do as part of an events planners coming up with ideas to build tangible community in your part of town. To serve as an outlet for stress. To rekindle the romance that was pre-baby.

    CChicken would you like activites to continue after the baby? If so to what degree. Now i know some new moms become obsessed with their kid(s) which isn’t healthy imo, this is about non baby included stuff mostly.

    Comment hog i know,sorry.

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