Rwar

How is it even possible that we’ve had this conversation twice in the last four days:

D: Do you think I’m as big as she is? (gesturing wildly at an internet picture of some woman who is further along than she is)
M: How far along is she? (as if this means something to me.  It doesn’t.  I just like to know)
D: Three weeks more pregnant than I am! (as if we know)
M: (peering at tiny internet picture) I don’t think you’re that pronounced actually.  Can you see your feet?
D: Yes.
M: Well.
D: Do you think I’m starving the baby?
M: Maybe he’s a dwarf.  Maybe the baby is eating you from the inside.  Rwar Rwar Rwar. (Makes chomping arms)
D:

I’ve actually never seen a pregnant woman shrink as deftly as she has.  It’s like she a skilled contortionist.  The belly pops further, but everything else collapses in.  At the rate we’re going, I’m going to look as if I’m about to crush and eat her in the birth day pictures.  I’m sure she will have gained a few more pounds at the next appointment – the baby has to weigh something.  I trust that our time will come.  In the meantime, RWAR.

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3 Responses

  1. HAHAHAHA. You guys. I’m moving in with you.

  2. I love you guys. ♥

  3. TL said that when i was pregnant, my stomach got bigger and everything else shrunk. i think perhaps since i ate basically a diet of fruit and salad the entire time i was pregnant, perhaps the baby zapped the rest of my body. i thought TL was on crack. and i thought she felt the only reason why the rest of me was shrinking was because hello – MY STOMACH LOOKS LIKE THE BIGGEST PUMPKIN AT THE FAIR!!!!! and i did frequently compare myself to other pregnant people. one time we were at the airport, and a pregnant lady was waiting in the terminal with us:

    me- god, she’s huge!! she must be due any day.
    TL- why do you say that?
    me- look at her belly, it’s massive!
    TL- what?
    me- they aren’t going to let her on the plane with that!
    TL- how big do you think your belly is?
    me- smaller than hers!
    TL- really? let me take a picture…
    me- i’m that huge??? holy —-
    TL- yeah, who aren’t they going to let on the plane now??

    might i add that i wasn’t eating fruit and salad to be healthy, rather i hated eating anything hot the entire time, and i would get so full so quickly that fruit and salad were the only things that did not make me feel like i had overate after two bites.

    and believe it or not, that deflation stayed. while most women report being bigger after pregnancy, i was and still am smaller. perhaps another baby to loose a few more pounds??

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