Like One Million Bats

Vroom!

That was the sound of the semi that just barreled past, flattening me.  Or maybe it was my mother-in-law.  Or probably, it was daycare.  Some of it was the lawyer.  It was most certainly my boss riding roughshod over the itsy bit of upright wavering I could still produce.

I am fully aware that having a child is not going to make the speeding traffic in my life any better.  Awesome.

The lawyer we picked out (after having zero luck in our hometown) disappeared off the face of the earth.  Bravo, lawyer, for being the third worst person in my life this month.  Normally, you’d have ranked first (I mean, really, not even a call to blow us off?), but this month, you’ve hit the shit lottery and you’re not even the second most difficult thing I’ve dealt with this month.  We did find another lawyer, but he will require two trips, 3 hours each way, to be performed in the same day.  This time, I CAN do the math and that’s 6 hours in the car per day with a soon to be nine months pregnant dragon.  I mean, wife.

However, my mother-in-law can best even the most negligent attorney.  Two weeks ago she showed us how it’s done in shining, passive-aggressive rainbowy ways.  I didn’t even know I had a mama bear (and oh how I hate that term) instinct until D’s mother made us wait in a restaurant for 20 minutes before we called her (she had not left the house), 30 minutes before we called her again (still, in the house AND having given away the only means to get to the restaurant), 35 minutes before calling us (resigned) and 50 minutes before arriving, via hitchhiked pick-up.  I know this is less passive-aggressive than it is irresponsible but I offer up the following evidence to support my case: the claim that she had, in fact, called us (eventually), the eagle claws in my back during a vice grip hug which I neither wanted nor could escape, and the 15 times she asked me if I was “still” mad at her.  Perhaps this was because no one has, in anyone’s memory, actually called her on the carpet for her behavior except me.  Wonder how long it will be til she lets THAT go.  There were other reasons why this visit was a challenge, but you can read a tiny sampling of them here.

The closed daycare took home the prize though, like one million bats flying overhead, ripping out your hair, defecating on your face and refusing to eat the mosquitos devouring you alive.  The bats that turned my mild-mannered wife into a single-minded tank in the childcare battlefield.  Here.  See for yourself.  How does a daycare that has been open more than 40 years close overnight?

Can you believe that in all this, Dr. Georgardo not only called us “gals” but managed to be both congratulatory about her superior weight gain and condescending and shaming at the same time.  Pretty impressive.  Pretty awful.  By the way, the cat is also using the nursery as his personal litter box after forcing us to switch litter, switch boxes, buy two new boxes, move boxes, switch carpets, eliminate carpets, switch FLOORS, switch food, close doors, install gates and add special pretty little kitty pheromones.

Does anyone want a cat?
Vroom.

7 Responses

  1. I can not believe that the daycare closed!! I’m so sorry. Do you have any alternatives??

    We had a similar experience with trying to track down a stupid lawyer. The first one we met with, the one with a ton of experience in adoptions, never returned our calls once I got pregnant. It was only through random chance that we found the one that eventually took our case. I hope that you have more luck.

  2. Oh man. I’m so sorry it’s been so terrible!! We really liked our lawyer if for some reason you find yourself in need. Not that she’d be any closer.

    One of our cats decided to wander into Noah Maxx’s room to puke today. Nice. At least they haven’t jumped up into the crib yet.

    Hang in there!

  3. I can’t believe you have to track down a lawyer to give them your money.Can you check with your LGBT center to see if they have a referral?

    Crib tents work well for keeping the kitties out of the crib and possibly smothering the baby.

  4. Ugh. If it’s at all helpful, I can give you people to call about childcare. Or at least tell you about places you want to cross off your list right away.

  5. Ok, now I have to amend my last comment so you won’t think I’m a total ass. I hear things about staffing through the childcare grape vine and that’s what makes me think a place should be crossed off anybody’s list. I do have great recommendations about some in-home places – smaller and more idiosyncratic, but also open, not closed.
    Finding child care bites.

  6. Oy. Sorry for all of the crap you’re dealing with. I’m afraid I don’t have a whole lot by way of help, but I do have a lot of sympathy. I do find it really weird that you can’t find a lawyer any closer, but I can believe it, Virginia being what it is.

    Oh, and I was going to suggest Feliway for the cat (it helped a lot with ours, when we combined households), but it sounds like you’ve probably already tried that. Did you do the spray or the diffuser?

    I’ve got no advice on the mother-in-law front, however, since I haven’t fully figured out how to deal with mine. Other than drinking heavily.

    Yeah, mostly just lots of sympathy.

  7. thanks all. such a lot of chaos. here’s hoping next week is better, right?

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