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Oh Honey

I’m tempted to write a book called Things My Parents Did To Me so that I can give a signed copy to my child for comparison.  I think I’ll make out pretty good.  Though, for the record, I have awesome parents, they have their spectacularly weird moments.  Since I’m not going to write such a book, here is a complementary list of chapters:

Sleep Under a Plastic Tablecloth While We Camp While We All Sleep Inside.
Dad Says, “J-O-B Job”.  Starting From Five.
What Makes You Think You’ll Have a Place to Live if You Don’t Go to College?
Grandpa Was Not a Mobster.  Repeat After Me.
I Only Dropped You on Your Head Once.
Oh Honey, We Didn’t Know Back Then Those Things Would Stunt Your Growth.
(sub headings: Oh Honey, I’m With Your Sister That Weekend, Oh Honey, I Didn’t Know It Was BROKEN, and Oh Honey, There’s No Such Thing As Migraines)

Maybe I should just name the book Oh Honey.  While you’re taking that in, let me recommend a site that has absolutely captured my attention 1001 Rules For My Unborn Son.  The Random Rule feature in the right column is particularly terrific.  Go, enjoy.

4 Responses

  1. Sounds like a book I’d buy.

    The 1001 Rules site is cool!

  2. That’s so funny! My mom actually used the one “I Only Dropped You on Your Head Once” on me before.

  3. A) I agree with Beth
    B) Write it anyway, in a journal. Give it to Vegas when he’s old enough to appreciate it.

  4. “What Makes You Think You’ll Have a Place to Live if You Don’t Go to College?”

    Haha! This one is my favorite!

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