I’m tempted to write a book called Things My Parents Did To Me so that I can give a signed copy to my child for comparison. I think I’ll make out pretty good. Though, for the record, I have awesome parents, they have their spectacularly weird moments. Since I’m not going to write such a book, here is a complementary list of chapters:
Sleep Under a Plastic Tablecloth While We Camp While We All Sleep Inside.
Dad Says, “J-O-B Job”. Starting From Five.
What Makes You Think You’ll Have a Place to Live if You Don’t Go to College?
Grandpa Was Not a Mobster. Repeat After Me.
I Only Dropped You on Your Head Once.
Oh Honey, We Didn’t Know Back Then Those Things Would Stunt Your Growth.
(sub headings: Oh Honey, I’m With Your Sister That Weekend, Oh Honey, I Didn’t Know It Was BROKEN, and Oh Honey, There’s No Such Thing As Migraines)
Maybe I should just name the book Oh Honey. While you’re taking that in, let me recommend a site that has absolutely captured my attention 1001 Rules For My Unborn Son. The Random Rule feature in the right column is particularly terrific. Go, enjoy.