Sometimes I still refer to my daughter as he.

Our closest friends had twins about a year ago and, for the 20 months of D’s pregnancy, I was constantly referring to our baby as “the babies”.  We’d just spent so much time talking about multiples, that a single incidence of baby was unfathomable.  Just so, I’m still occasionally saying he him his when I talk about our daughter.  That’s what you get for steadfastly refusing to be disappointed in a possible boy baby and, in a burst of wishful reverse psychology, refer to your womb-bound girl baby with the masculine.

Speaking of the baby, let’s talk about priorities.  Maybe it’s because I’m not at work, killing a few minutes on a break with frenzied typing.  Or maybe it’s because I’m still at such an overwhelming emotional deficit that I can’t give up any more of myself.  Whatever it is, when I have a moment to sit and do something other than cuddle, feed, rock, wash, launder, you get the idea, forming thoughts is last on my list.  I would have said before that writing was a top priority, spending time alone thinking was a priority, that the internet in all its perfect glory was a priority.  Now, firmly in the after I find that, for me, it isn’t.  It’s tempting to slip off and away into a non digital life, but I think I would eventually feel isolated.

And, I have to tell someone about the Supreme.

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4 Responses

  1. I’m going to be very happy to let little Noah distract me from the news and the idiocy of the world – heh – and I know time online will be slow in returning, but I’m with you that I’ll still need some connection to people somehow – and for better or worse, most of ours is online.

    Anyway – congrats again on the little one!!

  2. congrats you guys!

    finding balance is always a struggle, isn’t it? i think for me my goal is to find it sometimes, and that sometimes is good enough to get me through all those other chaotic days, ha! but, definitely, finding community where you feel most comfortable is important… for sanity 😉 .

  3. Ah, but are you calling her Vegas? When friends of ours were pregnant, we all called their baby by a nickname, and it took a few weeks after he was born before we all got to where we consistently called him by his real name.

    I’m glad to hear that you’re planning to stick around on-line, though. I quite enjoy reading this blog.

  4. But with the little one around, can you remember really what your lift was like without her? Someday you won’t remember any more and I know even now you cannot imagine life any other way. Things will settle down and you will find your balance again. But now it the time to hold her and cuddle her and watch her sweet face. They change right before your eyes! We will be here waiting when you have the time.
    My sons’ Nana has a carriage and he loved it when she put him it in and bounced him and rocked him to sleep. They are awesome!

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