Raised by Wolves

We love our girl, and we spend more time gazing at her than we do learning how to actually take care of her.  You’ve seen this fat, happy baby.  We’re clearly doing okay.  In spite of ourselves.

We received several how-to-raise-your-brand-new-human books at RR’s birth.  I have been using these books as bookstops for her growing collection of under-appreciated children’s books.  Though I don’t want to speak too soon – in the last week or two she has shown markedly more interest in reading.  Not wanting to get hung up on developmental milestones and feeling overwhelmed by the amount of information, we’ve only lifted out a tome or two when things weren’t going well.  I like my information on-demand.

The few times we’ve looked we’ve discovered all sorts of useful things.  Regular vomit?  Probably okay. Projectile vomit?  Less so.  Frankly, I pretty much assume that’s a rule of thumb for everyone and for everything.  Regular cats?  Okay.  Projectile cats?  Bad.  Regular hangnail?  Tolerable.  Projectile hangnails?  Dangerous.  Regular iced tea?  Yes, please.  Projectile iced tea?  How dare you!  I’m sure you get the idea.  We also learned that she has the patience of Job.  She might have stuck with a steady diet of 3oz until she was five if we hadn’t stumbled on a page mentioning she should be up to 6oz.  When provided with 6, she graciously thanked us by growing.  We learned that she ought to be sleeping.  A lot.  So we kicked her out to her own room and she slept six hours, then seven, then through the night.  Last night, she fell asleep at seven, opened her craw at two for milk and then slept again til 6:30.  Apparently, the co sleeper is not nearly as comfy as her plush mattress, our room not half as warm as hers and, the kicker, no one in her room is waking the dead with sleep chatter.

Unfortunately, we also learned that she has awesome head control, advanced language skills and is behind in rolling over.  Look, I don’t want to know this.  I don’t care if she’s a child prodigy golf player or slow as molasses.  I don’t want anyone harping in my ear about it at four months.  Not rolling over led me to ask the doc in a fit of anxiety whether our baby was doomed to a life on her back.  She assured us that, no, she was just fine, but I hated being so riled up about it I had to ask.  I wish things like developmental milestones didn’t exist because perfectionists like me worry when they aren’t being met.  So I just don’t look.

I wonder how long we can go on in a state of semi-oblivion before we end up with a child raised by wolves.  Take a look – what do you think?

5 Responses

  1. I’d never get anything done with her around – I’d just sit and watch her and try not to rub her head all the time!! So adorable!!

    We just went from 5 oz to 6 to try to get him to eat less than every 2 1/2 to 3 hours. So far, so good. He’s slept 10 or 12 hours the last two nights. Problem is we keep waking up anticipating him waking up.

  2. I rub her head constantly. No one would blame you.

  3. I’m pretty certain that gorgeous girl is a-ok. (n thinks so too, and she has moms that many people find similarly neglectful)

  4. We also try to avoid worrying about milestones. It helps that beezy is meeting them…but none-the-less, each child is different. And your daughter totally looks like she was raised by wild animals (she writes somewhat sarcastically)!

  5. You know, I sometimes tell people I was raised by wolves. When they look at me funny I amend it to “well, Siberian Huskies, but close enough”. *I* at least think I turned out okay. I’m sure RR will be fine as well. (In addition to utterly adorable, of course.)

    I can understand the use of the various milestones, but they’re really just rough guestimates. We spent awhile trying hard not to panic because all of the pregnancy books were saying that PB should be feeling fetal movements several weeks ago, and she wasn’t. Turned out it was nothing (just an anterior placenta), but we’d probably have been happier if we hadn’t read all those things talking about everything she was supposed to be feeling. So, there’s that, too.

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