Impossible

I thought of all kinds of titles for this post – like Another One Bites the Dust and 3 to 0 Grandmothers in under 7 Months and even the tried and true, RIP.  there isn’t anything, really, that describes the sense of bewildered loss I have.  Whole chunks of our families are missing but because of their distance, their age maybe, their long lives, what I’m feeling isn’t soul crushing or a sense of helplessness, but rather a profound sense of loss coupled with the realization that I haven’t fully taken a breath.

My grandmother (on my father’s side) – her name was Hazel, let’s call her Hazel – passed away on Monday.  She was an individual – 98 and three quarters, mother, wife and widow, fisherman, businesswoman, college graduate, inveterate gambler and card shark.  She was also beautiful, quick to laugh and had long legs and an easy smile.  My grandfather (Fred) said she was easy on the eyes, a head-turner.  She was also deeply committed to her grandchildren and gin and tonics.   Hazel and Fred were my be all end all until we moved (at 11).

Together D and I have lost all three of our grandmothers, Hazel just now and of Katherine and Annabelle in the fall.  Not completely unexpected but not completely ready.  It seems impossible but there it is.

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5 Responses

  1. We’re so sorry for your loss(es). Death always just sucks.

  2. I’m really sorry to read this. I don’t think we’re ever ready to say goodbye to anyone, no matter what their age.

  3. I’m so sorry.

  4. I’m sorry for your loss. Even expected losses hurt.

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