Paging June 2012

You guys, June is kicking my ass.  I remember last June, right about this time, thinking that nothing would be as hard as that June was.  With a baby just a few days old and the feeding challenges she brought with her, I would have sworn up and down that once I got through that, well, everything would be a piece of cake.  You’d think that would sound overconfident, but I’ve had crappy Junes before – usually preceding some sort of early July surgery – and having a baby was far worse than ankle or brain surgery.  Yes.  Having a baby was worse than brain surgery.  Next time you catch yourself thinking, “God, it’s not like I’m having brain surgery!” remind yourself that actually, it is.  If not for the surgeon, at least for the patient.

So here I was, all kinds of optimistic and floaty as we zipped out of June 2010 onto the path of June 2011 AND BEYOND! when we proceeded to blow every last tire on our Vehicle of Light.  When my grandmother died in the fall, I thought – well, this is really hard but it’s not like having an infant!  And then, when D’s mother looked close to death at New Year’s, I thought – well, this year has been harder than I thought, but still!  And then, when my other grandmother passed away in the spring, I thought – well, this year hasn’t been what I expected, but it’s still not as hard as having a baby, right?  it isn’t, is it?  But then, I found a melanoma on my arm.  Although my doctor removed the small tumor immediately, tomorrow I’m having surgery to take out a large chunk of arm down to the bone and the lymph nodes that go with it.  You know, to be sure IT HASN’T GOT INTO MY LYMPHATIC SYSTEM.  Yeah, that pretty much put this year right over the edge.

It’s too much, you know?  It’s too much death.  And it’s too much stress.  And it’s the reason why I haven’t told you about my gorgeous daughter’s first birthday.  Or our awesome trip to San Francisco.  Or about…anything.  On the bright side, I ought to be able to type to you one-handed during my recovery-please-don’t-let-there-be-more-cancer-week.  So there’s that!

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6 Responses

  1. Ugh, how horrible. After all this, you guys definitely deserve several stress-free years. ❤

  2. Ching can relate more to the death of family than I can, and I know it’s kicked her butt. I can only imagine the stress of even the remotest possibility of cancer. Mostly want to say our thoughts and prayers are with you.

  3. Oh my. I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine a year as horrible as that. I hope the next decade is a walk in the park for you!

  4. EKK! so sorry to you are having to go through this in addition to everything else. I will be sending you as much good energy as I can and hope it all works out for the good.

  5. Holy shit, indeed. I will admit that the weeks immediately following Critter’s birth have become our new high-water mark for “difficult”, let’s say, as well. I’m certainly hoping that mark won’t be surpassed any time in the near future.

    Since I’m a bit behind the times (I’m behind on pretty much everything at the moment…), I’ll say that I hope the surgery went well, the recovery isn’t too bad, and that the results are good. We’re sending lots of good thoughts your way.

  6. omg, i’m sorry you have to go through this on top of everything else! i hope everything comes back clean and you’re back to normal in no time (minus a bit of arm and a new nodes). thinking of you.

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