We’re just back from a vacation at the beach. RR is taking 13 months much harder than I expected. All of a sudden our tiny little baby is offering up glimpses of raving toddler-dom. No mama, I do not want breakfast. I do not want to get in the car. I do not want to take a nap. No mama, I will not take off this shirt.
Also mama, I am hungry. I am tired. I am bored. I don’t want to wear this. I can only imagine how this will go when she can actually say NO and not just KITTY. In addition to trying my patience, she’s pushing on my weaknesses. I hate it when she throws her food on the floor. It’s wasteful and messy. She’s supposed to be eating. She’s wasting our time. Obviously, I’ve got issues with waste and control. I want things to be neat and clean. And she doesn’t have to eat if she doesn’t want to, but we could be playing or reading or really doing anything but making a giant mess and screaming.
It’s not like this was a secret. I have to work at not being this way (obviously, not always successfully). I don’t want to give her issues with eating or getting dressed or, for that matter, napping, dancing, reading, whistling, or whittling. Note to self, take away the wood carving tools. I’m pretty sure that issues come from repeated actions and I’m not vain enough to think I’ve already ruined my one year old. But, I’m worried I will have ruined my 12 year old. So I catch myself asking D to feed her or simply taking her food away when she flings it on the floor. But THEN I worry that I’m misreading her baby cues and OH NO, I’VE RUINED THE BABY.
On the bright side, she certainly knows how to sign “all done.” Half the time she signs it by slamming her hands down and smearing her food right off the tray. BUT! The other half, she moves them side to side in the air. That’s something!