You all, I loved this post. Not because I would ever tell my child that a fairy dies when you turn on and off the lights – what? I’m totally more likely to pin it on a pony – but because I recently found myself doing this very same thing.
When the lie slipped out of my mouth, I was shocked at my audacity. I don’t claim to be one of those folks who is “always honest, no matter how hard the truth is for other people to hear.” Partly because I did time as a diplomat and partly because I prefer my truth seasoned with good-natured sentiment. When I hear someone say that, I nearly always reword their following sentence so that it gets the point across without being douchy. On the other hand, I’m all for creative license. If it makes it better and doesn’t change the meaning, keeps the sentiment and the key points the same, and doesn’t have any impact on the future, I might just shine it up. Fortunately for my family, friends and everyone else, the truth (at least so far as I’ve witnessed) is almost always more awesome than anything else. Which is exactly why I was surprised at my audacity.
Here it is: I informed my child that she could not watch Olivia because Olivia was sleeping. I know. It’s a terribly slippery slope into telling her that I don’t know what happened to the book that bleats like a goat, or that the red shirt is dirty, or that goblins will gobble her if she doesn’t eat her chicken dammit. I told her that the TV was off because the animated pig was sleeping and she looked at the TV and looked at me and was all, “Of course she is, I’m not at all surprised, mama. Let’s go outside and run in the sunshine instead!”
I’m pretty sure that, despite my claims above (which I have probably shined up), that my friends and family would consider me to be a truth-teller. I hope that my daughter grows up to say the same which is why, obviously, I can’t tell her that goblins will gobble her because, really, goblins are more…scarfers… And that, my friends, is what is keeping me from continuing to claim Olivia is sleeping and explaining that the reason we can’t watch TV is because we are going to eat dinner. And chicken is on the menu.