RR Has Two Mommies!

Yes, for the thousandth time, yes.  RR has two mommies.

You know what, I’m proud to be part of a family that is expanding the worldview of two-year-olds.  I’m proud that they are being exposed to different kinds of families so early in life.  I hope it makes the road more smooth as they travel.  I’m proud that my daughter has a unique attribute that ALL the other kids on the playground know…and announce…and proclaim every.time.they.see.us.  I’m proud that they tell their own moms and dads about us…constantly.  I’m proud to be the one to open eyes or to silently encourage parents to talk about difference and acceptance.  I’m proud to let her teachers know, “Hi, I’m one of RR’s moms!” and I’m proud to help them dip into the (possibly) new and unfamiliar words they need to relate to us.  I’m absolutely proud to be one of RR’s mommies.

But, really.  REALLY.  We can all keep our hats on about it.  In my family, we have an expression: put your wagon on the ground.  This is applied in a few instances:
–I believe you are being unreasonable about this issue and I’d like you to dial it down a notch.
–I felt the assertion/response you are making is both ridiculous and flat out wrong.
–You are taking this too far, dadgumit, so knock that shit off.  (This is the former language that has been summarily replaced.)

When some really has had it, the expression blossoms into, “Put your wagon on the ground and fill it up with carrots.”  I believe this was an early FU from the four-yr-old set.

Sure enough, when RR’s friends, friends of friends, non-friends and, at this point, strangers, see us, they shout RR HAS TWO MOMMIES!  And they’re right.  They were right a minute ago, and yesterday and the day before that and, sure enough, they are still right right now.  Blows my mind.  This is the point where I want to take the nearest two-year-old and say, sweetly, put your wagon on the ground.  Cool it.  We know.

I’m pretty sure this is some “typical toddler behavior” and they are just assigning meaning to their world or some other charming expression.  And I really am proud.  I’m also proud that we’re the sort of Two Mommies that we are.  We’re fun.  We’re happy.  We dance with the kids and smile at their parents.  Half of us is very friendly.  Half of us tries really hard to be very friendly.  We are about as gentle an introduction to The Gay as you are going to get.  We are also tired and just want to be more like everyone else and less like a PSA.

But, that’s not our lot.  And, since it isn’t, we’re going to put our own damn wagons on the ground and get on with it.  THAZ RIGHT BITCHEZ, RR HAS TWO MOMMIES.

P.S. Happy National Coming Out Day (Belated!)


4 Responses

  1. This sounds awfully familiar. My partner is the one who usually picks up and drops off our son at preschool. There are a few kids who like to ask me about who I am EVERY TIME I come to school. I give the same answer every time, and it does get a little old. Sometimes I just want to find his lunchbox and go home rather than providing a community education about queer families. Especially when it’s the same couple of kids asking the same questions week after week.
    One day recently another (presumably straight) parent was there when I got the questions and stepped in to answer them, saying something like, “Yes, Tad has 2 moms. Isn’t that lucky!” I had mixed feelings about the “lucky” bit, but it was nice to have someone take a turn.

    • I hear what you’re saying (and I’m glad I’m not the only one!) I like it when other parents step in, either to affirm what I’ve just said or to get a jump on it. In part, it’s because I like knowing which of my kid’s friends have enlightened families. In part, it’s gratitude that they are taking the time, as the child’s most reliable source of information, to register that my sort of family does indeed exist. As for the kids, bless their little hearts, I’m hoping they get more interested in something else soon!

  2. Critter isn’t in school yet, but periodically when I pick him up from nannyshare, I get to have discussions with the older kids along the lines of “Yes, I’m Critter’s Mommy. Yes, PB is Critter’s Mama. You have a Mommy and a Daddy, and he has a Mommy and a Mama, and aren’t you all lucky to have people who love you so much.” And I’m happy to share the enlightenment, but… we’ve had this discussion before, and the answer was the same then. Oh, well, at least it’s better than when they’re trying to pull out my nose ring.

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