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Social Anxiety

Remember how you told me that it was okay to put out an ad for queer friends to come and play games with me but not to discuss meat? And then I did anyway? Or rather, I did but I didn’t tell you because, well, I didn’t want you to feel sad that I didn’t take your advice. Water under the bridge because I still think you’re the bees knees. So I decided to put an ad on craigslist (where do you put that thing? F4F? Just Friends? That whole joint oozes hook-ups no matter how you slice it.) and start a meet-up group because I wanted to cover all the angles.

And here’s what I said – don’t worry, the meat was on the extra info page ;):

“Like board games and card games? Queer? Come play games, eat chips, and drink beer in a non-weird and yet organized way. You don’t need to know how to play, you don’t need a date, and you don’t need to drink to bring a new game to the table or to try your hand at beating the pants off everyone else. Pro-football fans who are passionate but not fanatical are particularly encouraged. We’ll typically meet one Saturday a month at someone’s home and play games from 7ish to 10ish. Depending on our numbers we’ll all bring a dinner dish or a snack. What’s not to like? Food. Games. Women. Hot damn.”*

And you guys, people totally came! Meet Up suggests you set a date so that people know you’re serious and I did, which is good because I totally would have put it off forever. You see, I really want people to come to my house and play games but I am actually terrified of that very thing. Terrified isn’t the right word but the idea of strangers and noise and awkwardness paralyzes me. If you’ve met me, you might not have known that I practically cancelled, like, 3 dozen times (or maybe I did) and I’m not immobilized by it (I’ve also given a lot of excellent parties). In fact, there’s a lot of babble here I’ll save you because the end result is that people came to my house and I am not dead.

I assume they had fun because no one got up and left. In fact, they stayed til 1 which is very much past my bedtime. Speaking of bedtimes, RR went to bed early and slept straight through the whole thing and by god I have never loved that child so much. Also, the dog traded bodies with a much better behaved dog and did not mortify me in front of the dog-trainer-guest. So despite the angst my wife had to bat down leading up to the event, it was totally worth it.

*Also, there’s a whole other thing here about opting to queer the game night and that’s much more complicated than hadsomuchfun. We’ll save it for a rainy day.



16 Responses

  1. So sad that we’re not local. Wife and I are always talking about needing new queer friends to play board games and drink beer with. We actually had a “friend date” last weekend with a couple we know through parties but have never hung out without and it was so incredible nerve-racking. I hope we get a 2nd date…

  2. Good for you. Glad it turned out so well!

  3. So glad to hear it turned out well! Nerdstar is not a board/cards game person at all and I really miss playing. It was big in my family growing up. Anyway, maybe one day I’ll try something similar here in our neck of the woods.

  4. So. Jealous.

    Not even funny.

  5. WOW!! That’s pretty damn cool!! I would totally be scared of strangers coming to my house…more because of the whole serial killer thing. Glad that it went well and that you’re not a statistic. 😉
    Come to Hawaii!! Rebeca and I love board games!

    • Oh my gosh – I am SO glad I’m not the only one who thought this! I kept saying to Debra, “What if these people are thieves!?!”

      • See!? Totally not thieves. Wait – have you seen my watch?

      • I might have been worried except that I haven’t seen an actual watch in years.

      • Not just thieves but kidnappers and stalkers!! Single White Female baby!! I love all those shows like Snapped, Criminal Minds, SVU. There’s no way I’d let a stranger into my house. I don’t want to be anyone’s dinner!!

        But good on Debra for seeing the good in people and just wanting a rousing game of Apples to Apples!! We need those optimistic people in the world. Even though you KNOW they’ll be the first one to open the door for the next Ted Bundy. 😉

  6. Awesome 🙂

  7. This is awesome! I have been thinking about trying to organize a potluck or something–for friends that I know well–and even that makes me feel a bit nervous. What if my different friends don’t get along, what if it’s awkward, etc etc. But I know that I should just bite the bullet and do it. Actually–in a weird way, I am more comfortable interacting with strangers than people I already know, because there are no pre-conceived notions and I feel like I am starting off with a clean slate. Although that is when I am going to events where I don’t know people–not events that I am planning. When I have to plan it, I think no matter who comes I would be anxious about it going well. I am so glad your event was a success!

    One last comment: your last sentence “So despite the angst my wife had to bat down leading up to the event, it was totally worth it.” made me smile because it made me think of my girlfriend who is often the one batting down my anxiety and reminding me not to stress too much and that it will all be fine, in fact, it will probably be great!

    • Thank goodness for cooler heads. I’m pretty sure people like your girlfriend and my wife are eligible for sainthood already.

  8. I’m jealous too! I want a queer game night here where I live!!!

  9. Awfully forward of you to suggest beating pants off of complete strangers at the first go, but this makes me happy. I love games. I played them at my wedding. Sans pants. (I wore a dress.) We should be friends.

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