Tick

Did you know, that ten years ago I wanted a baby like nobody’s business? I hied myself to the doctor in order to get right with my various challenges and said to my partner. I’m going to have a baby. And then we’re moving to Israel for work. Just as soon as I lose weight.

There’s a lot to unpack there. Including the fact that the partner in question was not a partner at all but a nuisance,  a menace, and all around bad idea. Turns out, my chosen profession was an all around bad idea too, not least because it was a contributor to some of my more serious health barriers. I started ditching those issues one at a time and I’ve got nearly all of them sorted…ten years later. And that biological clock? Silent, the whole time.

Before you ask, I don’t have a good reason. Three weeks ago, I didn’t want another child (let alone to carry one) and now I do. So D and I put our heads together and weighed the pros and cons. You know us by now. You know we’ve got color samples on the walls from two years ago. But you know what? Every single important (and successful) decision we’ve made has been made in under 24-hours. That’s how I became a librarian, how we adopted a dog, ended up in a new city, bought a house, and had RR.

There’s not much more to explain. Let me tell you, I’m well aware that folks might ask. It’s not as though I’m an ideal baby mama. I have, politely, issues. I’ve told my doctors (see: issues) that D was the better candidate. That yes I was sure. That no I didn’t want to carry. That no I didn’t want another one. There’s no answer but to say I’ve changed my mind.

You’ll notice the S on doctors. D and I popped into see our beloved family doctor last week. She gave her blessing and soothed my each and every fear – which, I’ll have you know, took a full 30 minutes WITHOUT repeating anything. Today, I’m on my way to cross the next hurdle, medication that, if discontinued, will require attention and care. Next week, it’s the fertility clinic armed, hopefully, with answers to most of the inevitable health questions. Assuming a go ahead, we’ll get to trying.

I am, shall we say, distinguished. Grey. Grizzled. Practically ancient. I might be the proud owner of an inhospitable environment. On the other hand, I might be awesome and that makes it worth a try. I hope the fertility clinic sees it that way. In the meantime, stay tuned for antics regarding tea, fertility masks and, maybe, moon water. Oh, it’s about to get weird.

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36 Responses

  1. ohmygosh this post makes me so excited!!!!!! you’re totally allowed to change your mind and I will be following you with baited breath the whole way. yay for babymaking!

  2. Sounds like an adventure!

  3. Well, hot damn!

  4. How exciting! We’ve agreed on Jan 2014 to start the process toward #2 (F will have just turned 2). In the mean time I’ll live vicariously through your adventures. What fun!

  5. I’d say the better decisions we’ve made have been made in less than 24 hours – including moving here and buying this house. Don’t believe everything you think, sometimes you just jump.

    As for issues, who doesn’t have issues. Seriously. If I had let my issues get in the way, I wouldn’t have my girl. I was so sure I didn’t want kids….and then, one day I just did. Best mind changing I ever did.

    You go girl.

    • Thank you for this. The issues are a huge hurdle for me mentally. In my mind, fertility clinics only want to knock up perfect specimens but that can’t be true – right? Thus the multiple doctor’s visits, opinions are good in this case!

      • Hmm. Except, fertility clinics are by definition knocking up people who have something that’s not quite working, right? Plus people who lack a convenient source of the other set of gametes, of course. 🙂 Also, I had a child because one day my until-then-silent biological clock went DING DING DING DIiIINNNNNGGG. Just like a turkey timer.

        And though I am (sorry to say) married to a dude and all I would still love to come play board games some time. As of July we’ll be an hour away.

      • It’s a plan!

  6. This is exciting stuff! I’m wishing you ladies the best as you set out on this new adventure in baby making!

  7. This is awesome!!!!!!! I’m a terrible commenter, but this got my fingers tapping. Yay!!!!! Also I loved the “come to my house and play games” post and I can’t tell you how much my queer little self would LOVE to come to your house and play games. Why can’t you guys live in my town?

    • I know! Imagine if all of the commenters here (because you are all, without reservation, awesome) lived in the same town. I promise, we’d be the most amazing game group ever.

  8. Oh, this is exciting. Best of luck, fingers crossed and all that. I’m so interested to hear about this journey, as I sit here mostly sure we’re done, but with a little voice that sometimes says, “but what if we aren’t”?

    • The “what if we aren’t” was our tripping point. I have been saying without hesitation that we were done (much to D’s dismay). But my biological clock is much louder and more persuasive than I thought it could be!

  9. You will never regret doing this. You *might* have always regretted never trying, but you will NEVER regret trying. And I personally think you are going to come out of this with that second child to complete your family. Been through it twice myself. Totally worth it. Yay you! 🙂

  10. Oooo yay!! Yay more babies!! Having babies is something I’ve never wanted to do but I LOVE hearing about cool people who are. We need awesome people to have babies, because otherwise, the Duggars WIN. Fingers crossed that all goes well with your lady parts!!

  11. Wow, exciting!
    In my experience, fertility clinics aren’t too picky, and are used to dealing with complicated situations. After all, other kinds of doctors don’t get to only work with folks who are already perfectly healthy. And then there’s the bit where people/insurance companies pay them lots of $$$, which may also account for them not being too picky. Yay?

  12. Best of luck on whatever and wherever this twist in the road takes you!

  13. Yay! This is very exciting.

    Also, if only people without issues were allowed to get pregnant, the population would be a lot smaller. And probably a lot worse, too.

    Good luck!

  14. Exciting stuff! Bring it on, right? Cheerleaders optional, unless you count blog commenters, in which case, welcome to the blogocheer.

    (Oh man, I just outed my inner teenybopper with a Bring It On reference, didn’t I? Oh well. Maybe the spirit stick is actually a dildocam.)

    • You have no idea how much I love a good Bring it On reference. And now, you are officially today’s winner of all things. I totally have the power to do that.

      • Sweet! It only took me half an hour to wrangle Clem into her pajamas AND I won all the things. That makes today a good day. Once again I say: let’s be friends.

  15. See, we take forever to make decisions, and we had lists and lists as to why #2 was not a smart move. Good thing we also think lists are for shit.
    All fingers crossed. What an exciting turn of events!

    • Things like google docs are a blessing and a curse. D starts endless lists which on one hand mean we are always prepared and then, on the other hand, mean that we are…always making lists. Just like Jenny says, it was like a turkey timer – no list required!

  16. Gosh. Just … gosh.

  17. YAY!! Oh my god I am so inarticulately excited for you. Best of luck with the knocking up process.

  18. Yay! I am perhaps more excited than I should be about this. Yaaaaaay!!!

    Ahem.

    I think in my experience, some of the best decisions I’ve made have been less “here is me deciding this” than “here is me recognizing what I already know”. Yes, I should move across the country to a city where I know literally no one. Yes, I should marry PB. Of course we should have kids. So far, so good on all of those…

    And try not to worry too much about the “issues”. Fertility clinics *exist* for people with issues. Seriously. The majority of the people going to them aren’t actually just lesbians who primarily need another set of gametes, they’re straight people with *major* issues. PB’s got some issues, I’ve got some of my own. We’ve both managed to get knocked up (fingers still crossed that this latest one turns out successfully, but I don’t really have a reason to think that it won’t), and I see no reason at all to think you won’t as well.

    Yay!

  19. […] my wife spilled the beans.  Phew.  So glad we have all of you to tell things to.  Otherwise, we might just both explode […]

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