No Means No

Despite having planned to wait until I missed my period to test, when I woke up yesterday feeling decidedly NOT pregnant I figured this morning I’d rather just get it out of the way. And so here we are, at 12 days past, in fact decidedly not pregnant. I didn’t realize how disappointed I’d be. And doesn’t it add insult to injury that not being pregnant brings with it all of the hormones that make me cry anyway right before my period? To my credit, there have been no tears but I am sporting a solid lump of unhappiness in my chest that must be visible from miles away.

On the plus side, my eggs didn’t taste like dirt this morning. My daughter’s first words this morning were, “Mama’s awake now? Can I see her?” instead of “I want mama!” which is an improvement. Maybe. A coworker brought in a few spare cookies. And, my first task this morning was to edit something (who doesn’t like to make things better?).

I sure wish I was at the amusement park.


16 Responses

  1. Boo, sorry to hear that. No means no for now, but maybe it also means “next time”! I hope so.

  2. I’m so sorry.

  3. Shit. I’m really sorry.

  4. Oh bummer. I’m sorry.

  5. Oh Blugh. I’m sorry to hear this .. I really am. Onwards, right? X

  6. If there’s no blood, you’re still in the game. The best pregnancy I’ve had – lo, back in the waning days of 2008 – I had negatives until 14 dpo. And then a positive. Hang tight. You’re still in the game. 12 dpo is really early. There’s 4? 5? IVP 6 year olds who were negative tests at 12 dpo.
    I’ve got your glass half full right here in my hand, keeping it warm for you. xo

  7. Shit. And hugs.

  8. I was negative until the afternoon of 14dpo, and even then it was pretty faint. It was also the only cycle where I didn’t feel pregnant…go figure. This process is one big mind tease.

  9. as we quote around here, during moments like these, ‘”Blah,” said Toad.’

  10. second the “blah”…bust out the espresso when you know for sure.

  11. Blah.

  12. […] tested yesterday morning, which was 12 DPO.  I convinced myself it could have really been 11 DPO if you […]

  13. On the one hand, I want to join in the “you’re not out till you’re *out* chorus”, but on the other, that never made me feel any better. (Especially given that it was always wrong, at least for me.) So, a long-distance hug, a glass of wine (or several, I won’t judge) in a day or two, and better luck next time.

  14. There is something that was told to me as a kid that has lived with me ever since. “You are allowed to cry. You are allowed to be sad. Being sad doesn’t give your hurt power, it respects your humanity.” Hugs and positive vibes your way.

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