It Isn’t “Fun”

You and I both know that social media is both awesome (yay! friends!) and terrible (that one guy? he sucks.)

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I’m on the side of awesome, for the most part. But today I heard several intelligent, thoughtful, kind people who are typically reasonable refer to the Supreme Court decisions this week as “fun”. It’s not fucking “fun”. I get that SCOTUS is making huge and important decisions right now and that’s impressive and worth watching but when the rights of a group are at stake (as they so often are for the Court) it is not fun.

I’m chalking it up to a poor choice of words. For all of them. Because I’m nice.

Just like many of you, I’m in knots about the decision  I think we’re likely to hear that DOMA is overturned and that the decision of the lower court in California will stand. I’ll take it because it’s progress. I don’t think we’re likely to get the best possible scenario – which is well within the court’s power – a decision that makes it unconstitutional for all states to ban gay marriage. Obviously, if you’re in Virginia, you’ll just replace the word “ban” with “vow to fight ’til the death over (and that’s putting it lightly, y’all)“.

Yes, let’s pay attention. Let’s watch avidly. Let’s refresh the SCOTUS blog a million times. Let’s do all of that. But let’s don’t say it’s fun.

Also, you deserve an update for having to listen to that and graciously agreeing not to make your hand into a little mouth and flapping it to say “blah blah blah”:

The IUI was nine days ago and I am frustrated at all the symptomy non-symptoms. For instance, I was exhausted on Sunday. Couldn’t move my limbs exhausted. Queasy exhausted. But on Monday, I was mostly fine except for a brief stint of ohIfeelhorriblewhyamIawake in the evening. My back (not high enough to be shoulders, not low enough to be kidneys) hurts. And I am all too aware that I have a uterus which I’d rather not be unless there’s a baby in there. I want to be hopeful about these things but I don’t want to look this Sunday in the eye and find out that yep, I was just pretty tired. This whole waiting thing is for the birds.

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8 Responses

  1. Patience is one on those highly-overrated so-called virtues.

    I think you summed up our state quite concisely there. Fingers and toes crossed it won’t come to that, that sanity will prevail. (Please don’t tell me that’s crazy talk. I know we live in the the little dreamy island of blue in a state of batshit red, but a girl can dream can’t she?)

  2. My home county (in VA) voted 85% Republican in the last presidential election. As a kid, I never thought I’d see the day that VA voted Democratic overall. Never. That said, it’s a pretty schizophrenic demographic distribution now.

    I would also not describe as ‘fun’ waiting to see if a bunch of appointed officials decide that The Gay has equal rights to The Straight, Because They Said So (and not because all humans should have equal legal rights, oh no). Though I did hear one clip of the complainants’ lawyer, in response to ‘when did marriage become a civil rights issue’, say ‘when the states started offering enormous financial incentives and benefits as a result of legal marriage.’ Brilliant.

  3. I’m with you. Nothing fun about it. Patience is definitely not one of my virtues.

  4. Holding my breath and watching the SCOTUSblog liveblog every day this week, too. Waiting is exhausting, and you’re waiting for two things! I highly recommend a regimen of distraction (good TV series marathon? get outside for a walk with friends?). It’s the only good substitute I’ve found for patience. 🙂

  5. Oh my! Fun?!!! What an unbelievable and likely not well thought through insult. Fun is definitely NOT the word for this.

    Countdown to Sunday and a huge Happy Birthday to that big girl! 🙂

  6. I have been thinking about this post a lot since the decision was announced. While it is possible that they could have upheld DOMA, and thus we should celebrate that they struck it down, the victory still feels so hollow to me in the midst of the other decisions SCOTUS made this week and the fact that this doesn’t grant marriage equality to everyone as they are announcing (a fact that I am sure you know being in VA). The decision just means that the federal gov’t will recognize the marriage from states that allow gay marriage, which they should have done all along according to the fair clause act.

    Also, gay marriage isn’t the end all of queer rights, there are so many other issues that our community faces. Like, how is it that trans people are still fighting to be able to use the freaking bathroom?

    I just feel bitter, which is hard when I know that everyone else is celebrating. Some are celebrating and then continuing the fight, as they say, but still they are able to celebrate. I just want to cry. I keep thinking of my 16 year old self, coming out, and thinking, “well, I guess I will have to move to MA” and people telling me to just wait, things were changing, my time would come. Now, ten years later, a huge move towards equality has been made, and I feel like I should be grateful that it was only ten years, and hey, my home state of MD finally legalized it! (And I was super happy at the moment that I learned about that). I am just sad that we are even fighting this fight.

    • Those are some of my very own thoughts too. I know a few people who have scolded, “why can’t we just celebrate the victory?” Which we can. And I am. But we need more. And faster.At any rate, I hear you and I hope this is the domino that causes the whole thing to fall and not just good intentions.

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