You all, there’s a whole lot of upheaval in this neck of the woods.
Today is RR’s last day at her current school and she’s moving on to Montessori on Monday. This week has been hard for her. Her classmates have been visiting with their new teachers and their shining faces have suddenly appeared on a bulletin board across the hall…without RR. Artwork is being taken down and people keep hugging her. A lot. Saying goodbye in advance.
I’m not particularly good at goodbyes. I think when most people say that what they mean is a sort of Pretty Woman definition. The, I can’t be here for this run out of the room, sort of goodbye. I don’t mind saying goodbye, it’s just that I’m totally going to cry. Everywhere. Lasts just kill me. The last time I’ll see you. The last time I’ll be here. The last time whatever.
I cried when I dropped RR off this morning. Just a little. I expect to cry when I pick her up. I’m going to try very, VERY hard not to because she still interprets tears as catastrophes, but I’m bringing tissues nonetheless.
D is away, has been away, and isn’t going to be back until Sunday. Paired with the upheaval at school, I suddenly have a baby on my hands again. Carry me like a baby, she says. Hold me, mama. Feed me like a baby, she pleads. She even held out her cup to me this morning and suggested I hold it for her like a bottle. She appears rather nonchalant about the idea of a new school but clearly something is taking a toll.
I’m not particularly chill myself. With no ovulation kit change as expected, I’m looking at a weekend IUI (at least I hope so). That means that I’m negotiating the IUI alone AND figuring out what to do with RR. The lovely and amazingly good-natured starrhillgirl has offered to take her for a Saturday morning visit, for which I’m eternally grateful. Let’s not even consider what will happen if I need to be at the IUI clinic, hanging out with RR AND picking D up at the airport all at the same time on Sunday morning. Shh. Don’t even THINK it.
This, of course, assumes I ovulate at all. The clinic nurse assured me today that to be delayed on the first clomid cycle was not at all unusual and (sort of) reassured me that I probably didn’t miss the boat and ovulate super early. She was not that reassuring when I asked a basic biology question about the lack of, ahem, activity and whether I could ovulate without it. It has happened, she said. Not to read too much into it but a yes or x doesn’t have anything to do with y would have been far more reassuring.
Wish us luck.