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The Learning Curve is Steep

You all are truly excellent people. I hope someone told you that in person lately and, if not, well clearly they are falling down on the job.

I appreciate all of the potty training commiseration and advice. I’d like to think that we truly hit bottom last night but I’m afraid we’ve still got a way to go. Another tearful pick-up and she has resorted to a game of painful intestinal Twister as she tries not to move her bowels at school. I don’t know how to fix this, only to hope we aren’t causing life-long psychological damage. My wife reports that drop-off this morning was difficult (again).

Montessori is proving hard on all of us. There are some simple rules that RR finds challenging and, as a result, test our parenting skills. She is asked to walk in and out on her own, to carry her own things and to greet and say goodbye to her teachers. These are all perfectly civilized requirements and ones that we generally have adhered to anyway. But with rules have come resistance and every arrival and departure is fraught.

This is new for all of us. We want to scoop her up and hug her when we see her but then she doesn’t want to be put down. The alternative, kneeling down to greet her, sets of a chain of little explosions starting with whining and ending in a tantrum. Yesterday, she began screaming and arching her back so severely at pick-up we couldn’t strap her into her seat. In three years of daycare, this has never happened.

We have no way of routinely hearing what is happening at school as her morning teachers are not her afternoon teachers*. Her afternoon teachers are unconcerned with potty-training and hysterics. Honestly, my own emotional internal toddler wants to cry that they are nonchalant about RR but surely that isn’t the case.

In other no-more-optimistic news, I feel decidedly not pregnant. I’m trying to console myself with the fact that even though I felt pregnant at this point last time (and the time before) I was not actually pregnant. And so, not feeling pregnant really has no bearing on anything. My progesterone results confirmed that I ovulated (73, which leaves no doubt that there is/was an egg there) but I don’t think any magic is happening.

Surely there’s a light in this tunnel. I just have to find the switch.

* We do have email access to the teachers. However, we’re on our own learning curve. We used to get a written recap each day and while it wasn’t perfect, we at least had a hint of her success and failures. Instead we review empty (or not) lunch containers and count sodden panties. We’ll get it. Eventually.



4 Responses

  1. Her preschool teachers have seen much worse than RR, and they have the perspective to realize that the drop off/pick up difficulties will end soon. Probably in less than a month. RR is your only data point, and they’ve seen hundreds of kids and years of firsts. Hang in there, it will get better!!

    (C1 was a back-arching, nonsense-spewing, head butting, biting, kicking, holy terror from age 2 to 3 or so. Holding him tight kept him from injuring himself, or me, but he calmed down faster if I left him in his bed and shut the door. C2’s tantrums are decidedly cute by comparison, though they didn’t start til age 3. All he wants is a few minutes of snuggles and he’s over it. Btw, C1 is a perfectly lovely child now, at age 6. Though, I have to watch his sleep and make sure he eats healthy food regularly, or he becomes very prone to crying and overreacting.)

    Try a standing hug? Child hugs legs, you put hand on head to snuggle a minute?

    Is food important for RR, does she need a snack right away after school? Like, a chocolate protein bar after she is buckled in the car.

    Oh, I hope the magic happens soon for your pregnancy journey. If not this month, then next!

  2. Hang in there. Fingers crossed for success on all counts. It’ll all happen… eventually. 🙂

  3. Hang in there. Remember what my Granny always said, ‘it’s just a stage.’

  4. Keep going … *nudge*

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