And THAT’S Why I Haven’t Called

My mother emailed this week. I was just wondering, she said, if potty training was going badly. That must be why you haven’t called, she helpfully added.

She’s right though. I’m conspicuously absent even in my own head. As if drawing attention to myself will out me as a terrible parent and unreasonable partner, equally unsuccessful at both. One who can’t figure out how to work a toddler. One who can’t figure out how to work her own body. One who leaves her wife in the lurch to keep the house running. I’m getting the better of myself here. I’m not having much fun being me. And so no, mom, I haven’t called. Be thankful.

The last two weeks have been ridiculously difficult. RR screams and cries a lot. I tried to come up with a better word than a lot but constantly seemed harsh; she is (sort of) sleeping. You’re stuck with a lot. The last two nights she has woken up crying three or four times. Wrassling her out the door and into the car could be considered a strength training exercise. Yes, we use the word wrassling around here.

We got an email from her teachers today, suggesting that she return to diapers. Torn between cheering and crying, Debra and I split forces and she called the school director (to make sure we wouldn’t get kicked out for this eventually) and I called our doctor (to make sure we weren’t damaging RR somehow). It seems we all agree. Back to diapers, shelve the panties and pull-ups, and wait.

I think it will happen quickly, though I haven’t been right about much lately. I think she just isn’t ready right now. I also think that, when she is ready, she’ll switch with fewer problems. This? This has been killing me. Do you know what it’s like not to talk to yourself at all? No internal thoughts? Nothing other than: Time to do this. Now this. Now stop doing that and do this. It’s like I somehow unintentionally got on auto-pilot. New school, new semester, new students, potty training, tantrums, wake-ups, whining, weeping. There’s no ROOM for any thoughts.

Back to diapers we go. Tell you what, it’s going to be a MUCH nicer weekend.



11 Responses

  1. Hugs!

  2. Well at least y’all get a break!

  3. I’m sure it will be good for RR, and I’m glad her teachers suggested it. If she’s anything like my boys, she hates being forced into things and will potty train much faster if she gets to lead.

    I hope you have a relaxing weekend, with somewhat less crying and a lot more sleeping!

  4. This sounds like such a huge relief for everyone. Enjoy your weekend.

  5. Sounds like a good plan. Poor RR might have just gotten overwhelmed with all the changes. Here’s hoping for a happier family soon! (At least the weather is amazing!)

  6. Oh mamas. I’m so sorry things seem to be taking a step back. Maybe, like her teachers say, this is the best approach though. I hope so for your and DW’s sanity. Stay strong. You are good moms and doing a great job.

  7. She’ll get there! Everyone develops at a different pace, and she just may not be quite ready yet. Hugs!

  8. Using the potty is totally overrated.

  9. Awesome that her teachers suggested it and are open to waiting for her to be more ready. Potty forcing isn’t helpful for ANYONE!

    And just think, now you’ll have more time to answer my Liebster questions. lol 😉

  10. Diapers are grand things, I say. I was just talking to a playground mom about this topic. She related advice from a friend with six children — it’s rare, in our expensive town, to meet people with an n above two for their parenting advice. Said friend said just what it sounds like you are hearing: if it’s that rough, go back to diapers and don’t feel bad for a second. It will happen.

    Meanwhile, do make yourself a nice drink, eh? Xo

  11. Get the nappy back on’t bab, kiss her ninight, pour huge drink, bear hug wife on sofa aaaaand relax. You two deserve a treat 🙂

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