It’s worth noting that I think RR is fantastic. But you are the best listeners I know and I appreciate that you put up with both the gushing and the angst, often in the same breath.
I also appreciate that you refrain from taking my mother’s position which is “if you say things like that about her, they will come true.” Did I mention my mom and dad are moving in with us? Hot damn.
Really though, hot damn. We don’t have relatives nearby and extended family has played a huge part in both of our lives. Our numbers are fewer and farther so knowing that we can bring Grannie and Pop Pop over to this side of the country is a wonderful, wonderful thing. They will be living with us until they find a new house which could be a few weeks or a couple of months. There’s lots to say about this but since you were so patient about yesterday’s post I’ll just say, babysitting!
So give us your tips and suggestions for living with your parents. And, of course, if you have tips for living with your grown children, share those, too! All the better for everyone!
Filed under: Third Year | Tagged: everyone else |
Counting Chickens 
Wow, do you guys have an in-law suite or something where they’ll be living or will you guys be sharing a kitchen?
Wouldn’t that be great? We’ll be sharing a kitchen. And the bathroom. And…just about everything else. Good thing we get along! They are going to sleep in the (unfinished) basement instead of the spare room.
My most unhelpful contribution to this conversation is: Urgh.
No suggestions, but sending lots of luck for a smooth transition!
Well I think it’s better that they are living with you. My wife and I lived with my parents while we saved up for a house last year. We had a trailer in their backyard, but shared kitchen, bathroom and were in their house most of the time. It was hard. My advice would be to make sure that they get out of the house often and that you and your family do too. Communication is the most important, you have to be able to say quit leaving the orange juice empty in the fridge or I am going to go crazy, ya know?
Excellent advice!
My first thought was: is their dog coming?! That said, I think multigenerational living is awesome (even if temporary) and what a wonderful treat for RR to have these import people live with her for a while. (I say it like that, because while I believe that to be true, I also think that if my parents or MIL were to live with us for any stretch of time, I would need to occasionally repeat that like a mantra!). Also, babysitting FTW.
Yes! Babysitting! Also, the dog is NOT coming which I think will make us all happier.
Endless amounts of patience required – from both families. Tried living with my folks in my late 20s (when I was transitioning between provinces). Lasted a month; all emerged unscathed.
Delighted to hear that! This is temporary, as yours was, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a preview of the future – hopefully a long way away. Now’s the time to get it right!
No dog AND babysitting!
I have no advice to offer but I will say that I find my in-laws more palatable in very small doses (like the length of a meal plus sitting around afterwards) and have often wished they lived closer so we could see them for less time at once. About where you live from here would be ideal (75 minutes). So, may your folks both listen to and hear you when you say, if you (X) one more time I am going to want to set someone on fire.
I’m very happy they are moving here for that reason – it’s much easier for my family (I think) if we can see each other often in bits and not once a year for a week. This temporary stay is making that possible. I think they’ll buy within 45 minutes from here. I’d love to have them close enough to occasionally walk RR home from school but it’s unlikely. In the same state? I’ll take it.
BRAVE. My only advice about living with parents is to check in frequently about expectations around “family time” (i.e. “Are we all home for dinner tonight?” “Our plans for the weekend are X…what are you guys up to?”). In my brief “living with my parents” experience, that was the biggest challenge – giving everyone space but also making sure we were functioning as a family. Booze helped. Sooo much.
I’d just second what Roro said – clear boundaries and expectations and tons of communication. Family is tough, but hopefully this is a great transition time!
Oh my. My reaction to this would not be as excited, you are very courageous! However, I hope it all works out. Set clear boundaries for everyone, open communication and such, I think you will be alright!
I lived with my in-laws for quite a while. My best advice is to communicate often and well about everyone’s expectations. We tried to whole mind-reading thing and that didn’t go so well. It’s much better to just say it and get it out there. Good luck! 🙂
Ahhh, mind reading is in fact the preferred method I’ve heard. Good to know it occasionally doesn’t work 😉