I’m Not Digging It (Five Dollar Complaint #4)

You know what I’m not digging lately?

The dropping of the civility curtain. If I’m talking to you in person, you’re likely to err on the side of assuming we’re on the same page until proven otherwise. I’m not sure what it is about the digital universe that pulls the curtain aside and permits folks to forget they are talking to another person who, in all likelihood, is not trying to be an asshole.

Speaking of the the digital universe and civility, I’m also not down with folks “engaging in intelligent dialogue” that cloaks judgement, invalidates experiences, or flat-out shares anti-gay sentiment.

Also, what makes you think that I’m okay hearing, “You know I love you but someday we’re going to have a conversation” about the marriage equality decision? Why would I want to discuss my rights with you? There’s no possible outcome that will result in me being happy or you being satisfied. I’m not down with that.

On the home front, my mother came in my house and moved all the furniture away from the walls looking for a phone jack. She didn’t put anything back but left us a half-eaten rotisserie chicken.

My daughter is a five!-year-old going on 15 and still having accidents.

Thumbs down to having to go back to therapy and my mother not going to therapy.

Fuck not being able to sleep at night.

Also, brain cancer.

I’m definitely not okay with feeling checked out (and desperate to check in) – of my garden, of my family, of my life. I’m both over-sensitive and disengaged which is ridiculous and aggravating. I’m not digging it.

For the first time in my life I’m wishing it were winter. You know, that miserable time of year where it’s just come home, cook dinner, enjoy kid, read book, go to sleep, eat breakfast, go to work, repeat.

I’m pretty sure that adds up to more than five dollars. But, as I’m going back the therapy, I’ll need to keep the change.

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11 Responses

  1. My head nearly exploded when I read Scalia going on about majority opinions. News flash: bigoted assholes don’t get to VOTE on whether something’s constitutional, that’s what the MF Supreme Court is MF for.

    I got nothing else but can I bring you a peach crumble or something next time I’m in cville? Peach coconut paleo friendly frozen thing? Fair warning, it may be a little while.

    • Majority voter opinions, that is, in case you want to skip the rage filled experience of reading his fucknuttery.

    • I’ll take you up on it one day. And seriously, the assholery. The more I hear people lament the falling of civilization and, I kid you not I have seen this three times, that being gay is a worse sin than ALL of the others, the more I’m in awe. Really? It’s really worse? Than ALL the others. Really? Even so, we ought to take bets on how soon I’ll have to delete a comment. Even some people I’ve known in person have revealed completely incomprehensible sides.

      • Worse than murder! Because who’s in your bed leads to the downfall of civilization. Why, just this week my heterosexual marriage got gay agenda-ed (milk, soccer game, take over the world) and I can’t imagine anything worse.

  2. I’m a bit puzzled by this whole fandango because when we had our equal marriage legislation pass in the UK, people were mostly celebrating (and a few people grumbled quietly). I offer you hope: in a generation, possibly two, the majority of people in the USA will be in my shoes, puzzled at how much some people seemed to care about legislation that they weren’t even slightly affected by personally.

  3. So that is why she moved all your furniture!

    I’m sorry people are being so horrible to you, all I see and hear are people celebrating. I agree with May, that someday it’ll be commonplace and so not a big deal. I realize that doesn’t help you now, but I hope for the future.

    My sympathies regarding your dad’s brain cancer, and your family’s lack of ability to deal with it in a realistic fashion.

    • Also! About the accidents. I’m sure you’ve had her to a urologist, but sometimes wetting accidents are related to a buildup of feces. My younger son had #2 accidents until he was 5 and was cured by 2 months of Miralax (proscribed by his pediatric gastroenterologist). As a child, I wet the bed until I was 8 and even had occasional daytime wetting accidents until then, too. I think I had weak pelvic muscles… After giving birth it was bad again, so I did pilates to strengthen my core.

      Good luck, I know accidents are frustrating.

  4. Exactly what sort of conversation is there to have about marriage equality? Isn’t that conversation done? FFS.
    As for everything else, just UGH. Except going back to therapy – that one I think is good, because it’s good to check your head every once in a while (says the gal who’s been in & out of therapy since high school).

  5. I keep being in shock that people are more concerned about my access to a marriage license than they are about the Charleston terrorist’s access to a gun. It is truly stunning.
    Also: I am sorry about all the crazy happening around you right now.

  6. Ugh. Oh, don’t I know this. My FB feed has mostly been pretty good, I have to say. There is one person, though, who I’m *thiiiiiisclose* to unfriending, or at least unfollowing. She’s treating it all like some big intellectual exercise, purporting to be evaluating the issue on the grounds of the logical validity of the arguments (you know, as opposed to just pulling some kind of bullshit twisted “logic” out of her butt to justify the position of the Catholic church, not that she’s even done that. *AHEM*). Like this is all just some thought experiment. Like it doesn’t mean the difference between heading into the ER and having to wonder if you’re going to end up separated from your family if you lose consciousness, and just having to worry about the heavy bleeding. Like it doesn’t mean worrying that if something happens to your partner, you’ll lose custody of your child. Like it doesn’t mean all the thousands of minor slights, like having to check “single” on forms when you’re anything but, or having to come through customs separately, because you aren’t “family”. (True story: we had to do that on the way back from GETTING MARRIED. I’d like to extend a nice warm middle finger to the US Customs station between Vancouver and Seattle for that, with special thanks to the the idiot working there who had apparently never met a gay person before.)

    But, you know, you have fun with the thought experiment.

    I’m sorry things are so rough right now. I hope therapy helps, at least a little. I hope you can get into your garden. (That always helps me, anyway.) On the plus side, all the people who are upset about marriage equality can just get the hell over it, because they lost. So there’s that. *hugs*

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