Tonight, at Bedtime

I’m itchy, mama. And sure enough, I turn around and she has got both hands stuck into her pull-up clawing away at god knows what. I try to remember when we washed her last and it doesn’t seem that long ago. Rather, when she washed herself last which, apparently, wasn’t adequate enough. Body washing, like teeth brushing is a learned skill. However, instead of sending her back to the sink for a simple swish, I’ve got a tiny person in a flannel nightgown up to her elbow in, well, herself. And since we’re those “it’s your body you can touch it however you like” parents all I can say is, well, should you take a bath?

And yes, she says, I should. And so she strips off the nightgown and pull-up and stands starkers (itchily, I presume) in the hall while I puzzle over the fact that our drain stopper has failed (forgotten before I made the the offer unfortunately) and the fact that there is no way in hell I’m putting her into a shower midway through lullabies at 8 at night. To her credit, she also isn’t keen on a shower and together we stand there (one of us more wiggly than the other), pondering.

And so…

Tonight I put my kid in the sink so I could use the dish sprayer to spray her business and then bent her over and directed it at her butt while she howled with laughter. Welcome to 2016.


3 Responses

  1. Hilarious! My two boys occasionally do not wash themselves adequately, either. Thank goodness for sink sprayers.

    We’re in the, “You can touch yourself however you like, in private in your bedroom,” camp. I don’t need to see it.

  2. My girl will be 14 next week (how did that happen?) and while she is capable of showering by herself, I still have to remind her to use soap on ALL her parts. Just last week I pointed out a spot she missed. Unfortunately, she no longer fits in the kitchen sink.

  3. This is HILARIOUS!!!! 2016 is off to a superb start, itchy bits and all, lol!

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