Ways Cancer Doesn’t Suck: Fox News Edition

logo.pngI think we can all agree that cancer sucks. There’s not actually a strong enough word for what cancer is. I am so tired of cancer, so exhausted by being a cancer spectator, so…just…flattened by the day to day of it that the silver lining is sometimes all that keeps me from…

Giving up? Being defeated? Falling apart? None of those things, probably. That doesn’t happen (pity). I wake up every day whether I feel like it or not. So what? Being miserable? Laying down with my arm over my eyes and moaning? Doesn’t seem like my job would continue to pay me if I did that.  Fucking cancer. It won’t even allow you to get properly checked out. Maybe if I bought a fainting couch…

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So. Silver linings. Know what? My father can be a bigot. He has racist moments that make me cringe. His inability to think critically about what he hears is ridiculous. I want to lock him in his house on election day. I don’t know whether he’s utterly oblivious to my political views or whether he thinks the offensive, not-at-all-grounded-in-facts, comments that he makes are going to change my mind. Either way, it makes family dinners (every Sunday, note) uncomfortable.

Cancer has rendered him harmless. He doesn’t seem to take in what he watches on television. I’m not even sure he watches conservative TV anymore. I don’t know what he thinks about Trump or Sanders. How thrilling! He hasn’t made a single political remark in the entire election season. I don’t even know if he’ll be alive to vote. Problem solved?

This is gallows humor, right? But it’s a physical sense of relief. I don’t feel constantly tested to remain level-headed, calm, reasonable, loving in the face of uninformed, inflammatory opinions. And, to be clear before you hit that comment link, I don’t need him to agree with me. I want him to be able to sort through propaganda – no matter where it’s coming from. I want him to fact check. I want Sunday dinner to be about the delectable roast beef, not politics.

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So thanks cancer? I guess?

 

 

 

 

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12 Responses

  1. In my mom’s family, we made a rule to never discuss politics at family dinners after a particularly bad Easter. It’s so much better that way. I wish I could get my in laws to adopt the same policy.

    That said, cancer just plain sucks. I know you’d probably trade your father’s cancer for bigoted, hateful comments at dinner in a heartbeat.

  2. I won’t pretend I know what the right thing is to say when I read these cancer updates. But I do read them, and I am so sorry that you and your family must go through this. You’re in my thoughts!

    • There are zero right things about cancer. But! Since nothing is right, anything anyone says is as right as anything else. I think it all balances out 😉 and thank you for that.

  3. I totally understand the lack of critical thinking in relatives! It’s exhausting. I’m grateful that the cancer has made his last months with you more pleasant, even as it takes him away from you. It’s true, I’m sure you would rather have bigoted old dad back.

    One of my best friends is going through cancer treatment. She’s 69, and I was going to help her figure out how to invest her meager retirement savings and recent inheritance so it’ll last until she’s 90. Her mother died last year, at 90. Five-year survival for her diagnosis is 50%. We’re going to look at her investments when her treatment is done, and after her big vacation to Macchu Picchu (sp?) and Easter Island. Thanks, cancer?

    • Finances are so important and the very last thing you want to think about. I’m glad you’re able to help. And why is it we always plan to take the big trips when it’s harder to enjoy them? Note to self. 🙂

  4. Silver linings indeed. I seem to recall cancer making my uncle stop with the bigoted remarks too, although I do agree that it’s not asking too much for people to be able to sort through propaganda, period.

  5. This is so completely spot on and refreshing to see a cancer humor post. It still sucks, but yes, let us bask in the rare silver linings it brings. I noticed that my mom became a lot more tolerable of my gay-ness the closer she got to the end. It happens.

  6. Almost-funny family dinner story: after midday Easter dinner one time (other people’s, we’re Jewish!) my mom and I were driving somewhere and saw a fully kitted out SWAT team, with assault rifles, outside a house. They must have discussed politics at dinner!

  7. Hugs to you Meridith. You are so awesome in so many ways. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but isn’t it just like you to make us smile instead of everyone else comforting you? Here’s to more bigotry-free roast beef dinners!

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