ADHD part 2

You should know that I really appreciate your comments and offers to chat about RR’s ADHD diagnosis. We were altogether hesitant to tell anyone, including RR, and it has made it easier to know that there’s a semi-silent (not everyone, I know, but lots!) army out there who are meeting things like ADHD and all of its cousins head on.

One of my biggest concerns in telling RR was that she would start to use it as an excuse or a crutch. That may sound harsh – it is, after all, nothing she’s doing on purpose. I’ve had some up close and personal adult ADHD professional interactions over the last couple of years that have left me in despair, yes, actually. From what I understand though, these folks are perhaps not managing their diagnosis or need help finding new methods of management that would help their professional lives stay…professional. And that’s enough said about that.

This diagnosis is having wider repercussions on the family and we’re seeing a family therapist to find coping mechanisms that work well for all of us. No medication was recommended at this point but as school gets more demanding I can see us getting there. I worry that, outside of her Montessori environment, she might be less successful. That’s several years away though and while I’m a worrier, no need to borrow trouble.

Speaking of, I was also reticent to tell the school and concerned that they would…I don’t know. Kick her out? They aren’t obligated to provide services for her. It’s not like an IEP situation that she might have in public school. But they were, as I should have known, wonderful, and I’ve felt like her teachers and the learning specialists have all been on top of it, low key, and supportive. We’re winning all around.

As for RR, she seems satisfied to know there’s a reason she struggles to be attentive and hasn’t once used it as an excuse. So far, it’s the best possible situation. Thank you again for telling your stories and lending your support. It’s appreciated more than you know.

5 Responses

  1. It is a journey.

  2. Seeing a family therapist to cope with all of this newness of this diagnosis and the journey ahead is all you need to say to show that RR is going to be just fine. Way to be proactive and supportive! On our 3rd year since diagnosis with 10 year old son and it is a world of difference, and so much better, than those early days. You’ve got this.

    • Thank you. It’s super hard. The medication conversation has come up again now that we’ve gotten her teachers report back that she’s super wiggly (my words) and expressive in class.

  3. We’re opening the ADHD conversation at kiddo’s 5 year appointment next year. I’ve seen how hard it is when not handled properly, like with my brother. And then, in the past week or so, I’ve become reasonably confident that I have ADHD as well, but it was presented in a weird way because of the autism. So I also have an appointment with my doctor.

    I just want to stop struggling so much, and I’m sure RR feels the same way. I view it as working with your strengths (and ADHD definitely has strengths) while finding ways to work around the weaknesses.

    I’m exhausted reading what you have to go through as well, so all the luck and good energy heading your way!

    • Debra is definitely looking at her own undiagnosed ADHD – while I can’t put myself in your shoes, I think I have some understanding about how hard it is!

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